When do I run out of tickets for this ride? Isn’t it done yet? I want to get off!! These have been my thoughts for the past week or so. I feel like I have been going down the steepest roller coaster drop in the world. I was feeling great, almost “normal” and now I am paying for it. I cannot sit still, I have fallen a couple times just walking through the house and have trouble remembering where I am. Today is the best day that I have had in a week and that may only be enough to throw these few words together.
A week ago we, the family and I, decided to take a 1 night trip to the Jersey Shore to give the kids at least 1 day at the beach and arcades. I also was able to catch up with an old friend from high school. I really think something happened on that trip. I know I became confused at the hotel when it was time for bed. And then again when we got home. There has definitely been an increase in my apathy as you all can see with my blog being late. My dreams have become more vivid and scarier. My hallucinations have been getting more on the scary side and delusions have started.
The worst thing though has to be the depression that goes with Lewy. Sometimes I think thst I would rather have Alzheimer’s but that is just a cop out as I never, ever want to forget my wife, children and siblings plus countless cousins, aunts and uncles. With Lewy, so far for me, I have been able to remember almost everything that is happening to me. Not good for a condition that makes your day like a roller coaster or a week now in my case. If you don’t already know, depression can play some really silly games with you. Makes you think life doesn’t mean anything. I believe and know different but that doesn’t mean Depression doesn’t try to change your mind.
Lastly for all my Lewy friends, tomorrow is another day with hopefully a clean slate and off the roller coaster even for a few minutes. If you don’t have an in person network always remember we are all here for each other in the group’s. Keep going strong and sometimes when Lewy tells you it is time to sit, it is time to sit. Fight the good fight but a good soldier knows when it is time to regain your strength. God Bless us All, Everyone.